Monday, September 5, 2011

Friends Never Change !!!

Rare, good one - Friends never change... To all my friends! 

 

 Occasion

Maa

Papa

Dost

RESULT AGAR ACHCHA HO:

Bhagwan ki kripa hai.

Beta Kiska Hai.

Chal Daaru Peete hain.

RESULT AGAR BURA HO:

Aag lage is college main.

Laad pyar ne bigaad diya.

Chal Daaru Peete hain.

NAUKRI LAGNE PAR:

Apni sehat ka khyal rakhna

Khoob Mehnat se kaam karna

Chal Daaru Peete hain

NAUKRI CHHOOTNE PAR

Naukri hee kharab thee

Koi baat Nahin, doosri mil jayegi

Chal Daaru Peete hain

BIRTHDAY PAR

Jug jug jiye mera beta.

Hamesha aage badhe.

Chal Daaru Peete hain.

SHAADI PAR

Sadaa Sukhi Raho

Khush Raho

Chal Daaru Peete hain

BACHHA HONE PAR

Bilkul mere bete par gaya / gayi hai

Khush Raho

Chal Daaru Peete hain

LOVE MAIN FAIL HONE PAR

Beta Bhool ja usko.

Mard ban.

Chal Daaru Peete hain.

 MORAL OF THE STORY: 

Duniya badal jati hai par DOST kabhi nahin badalte. Pls feel free to share with yours. Long live friendship! ... Cheers!!

 

 


NOTICE: Morgan Stanley is not acting as a municipal advisor and the opinions or views contained herein are not intended to be, and do not constitute, advice within the meaning of Section 975 of the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act. If you have received this communication in error, please destroy all electronic and paper copies and notify the sender immediately. Mistransmission is not intended to waive confidentiality or privilege. Morgan Stanley reserves the right, to the extent permitted under applicable law, to monitor electronic communications. This message is subject to terms available at the following link: http://www.morganstanley.com/disclaimers. If you cannot access these links, please notify us by reply message and we will send the contents to you. By messaging with Morgan Stanley you consent to the foregoing.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Monday, December 14, 2009

FW: " Wednesday"...( Rephrased) for all the engineers...

 
 
Harshal Vaidya
Morgan Stanley | Technology & Data
Manikchand Ikon | South Wing 18 | Dhole Patil Road
Pune, 411001
Phone: +1 212 620-7016
Harshal.Vaidya@MorganStanley.com
 


From: Jejurikar, Rohit [mailto:rohit.jejurikar@credit-suisse.com]
Sent: Monday, December 14, 2009 8:12 AM
Subject: FW: " Wednesday"...( Rephrased) for all the engineers...

 

All of you who have seen the movie ‘Wednesday’... will love these rephrased naseerudin shah dialogue’s...


Project Manager Rathore
: kaun ho tum..??? kya pehcan hai tumhari ?

Unkonwn Caller
: Kaun hoon mein...mein vo hu jo aaj committment karne se darta hai, Mein vo hoon jo aaj ghar jaane se darta ha, ye soch ke kahin ghar wale pehchanne se inkar na kar de...

mein vo hoon jo, aaj job change karta hai to sochta hai ki kahin recession mein mujhe company se na nikal de..

mein vo hoon jiski girlfriend usse friday ko dus bar phone karti hai, "kya kar rahe ho..?? kaam jyada hai..?? thak gaye ho..?? "
mera haal poochne ke liye ya kaam poochne ke liye nahi, rathore saab... balki vo ye jaanaa chahti hai ki... kahin hamesha ki tarah end moment pe
boss ke bulane pe mein saturdary ki date cancel to nahi kar raha...

mein vo hoon jo breakfast ke time pe dinner karta hai, lunch time pe breakfast karta hai, dinner ke time pe lunch karta hai.. vo bhi time mil jae to...

mein vo hoon jo aksar phasta hain
kabhi Interviews ke sawaal mey phasta hai , kabhi Badi companiyon ke jaal mey phasta hai, kabhi boss aur client ke bawaal mey fasta hai.

Walk-In
ki bheed to dekhi hogi aapne rathore saab... us bheed mein se ko bhi chehra chun lijie.. mein vo hoon..

I'm the
..STUPID SOFTWARE ENGINEER....

 

 


==============================================================================
Please access the attached hyperlink for an important electronic communications disclaimer:
http://www.credit-suisse.com/legal/en/disclaimer_email_ib.html
==============================================================================



NOTICE: If received in error, please destroy, and notify sender. Sender does not intend to waive confidentiality or privilege. Use of this email is prohibited when received in error. We may monitor and store emails to the extent permitted by applicable law.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

FW: Honesty!

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?"


"Well, I bought an expensive! Electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
 

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you:  I will not lie."
 
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."


When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."


The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father - - Next
!"

NOTICE: If received in error, please destroy and notify sender. Sender does not intend to waive confidentiality or privilege. Use of this email is prohibited when received in error.

Worlds Most Embarrassing Moments

There was a World wide survey of "Most Embarrassing Moment in human
life"

The finale had the following three incidents....

Third Place

"It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but
my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard
the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I
give her a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss
the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom
of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people
yelled "SURPRISE!"

My entire family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my
friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot
in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.

Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again

Second Place

"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my kid decided to release some
pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold
of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself right now,
she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said
in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I
will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee(dick) last
night!".

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the
tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered the last of my dignity
and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing that
I heard as the door closed behind me was the screams of laughter.

And the Winner is...

This one actually happened at Harvard University in October last year.

In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels
found in semen. A young female (freshman), raised her hand and asked,
"If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in male
semen, as in sugar?" "That's correct." responded the professor, going on
to add much statistical data. Raising her hand again, the sweet young
thing asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?".

After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor
girl turned bright red and as she realized exactly what she had
inadvertently said(or rather implied), she picked up her books without a
word and walked out of the class, and never returned.

However, as she was going out of the door, the professor's reply was a
classic. Totally straight- faced, he answered her question, "It doesn't
taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your
tongue and not in the back of your throat!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTICE: If received in error, please destroy and notify sender. Sender does not intend to waive confidentiality or privilege. Use of this email is prohibited when received in error.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Afraid to pee

This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that,
I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open
the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the
door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTICE: If received in error, please destroy and notify sender. Sender does not intend to waive confidentiality or privilege. Use of this email is prohibited when received in error.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Writing a report

A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents, "How was I
born?"

His mother awkwardly answers, "The stork brought you."

"Oh," says the boy. "Well, how were you and Daddy born?"

"Oh, the stork brought us, too, and Grandpa and Grandma."

The boy begins his paper, "This report has been very difficult to write
due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family
for three generations."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTICE: If received in error, please destroy and notify sender. Sender does not intend to waive confidentiality or privilege. Use of this email is prohibited when received in error.